Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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