she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
