Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
