Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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