I smell stomach acid.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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