Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize