If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize