I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize