U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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