The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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