I want to walk on stilts...naked
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
