There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Your shirt... Was in my pants
how drunk are you?
Several
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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