how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
