yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
