I'm really into asian looking animals
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
