just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
