i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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