I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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