i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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