If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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