i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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