trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
