when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize