No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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