i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
