Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
