just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize