I don't remember. Are we still dating?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
