I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
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You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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