You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
