It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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