Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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