You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize