Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
