Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
