Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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