you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
