I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
