so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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