Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
