please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
