We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
