that's an acceptable place to lick
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
