it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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