the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
