hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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