i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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