Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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