She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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