we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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