she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
