My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize