I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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