yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you win again, gameday.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Holy sore nipples Batman
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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