Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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