at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You ate ashes out of my bong
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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