she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
