I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
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I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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