If i come over, it means nothing
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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