I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
