Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
