I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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