I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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