god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
