Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
