Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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